It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
