I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
