Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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