I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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