Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
