I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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