At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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