No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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