Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize