Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
