i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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