thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
