YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
