Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
