We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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