3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The power of my boobs compel you
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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