Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
