I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This is the high leading the old right now
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
