you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dignity is for republicans.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
