yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
