wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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