Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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