Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
