Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
