I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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