I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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