; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
