Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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