I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
