i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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