i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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