If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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