After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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