return my video game
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
