I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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