what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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