I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
there's paper in my vomit.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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