If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
