With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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