Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
