I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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