Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
