I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
