the condom got lost in my hair
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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