I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
