TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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