How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
