The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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