her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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