If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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