Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
