Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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