how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My cat gives me a boner
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize