I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
