I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
