whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
