Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
