i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
