Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize