its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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