Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
