wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
