Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just cropdusted the office
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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