I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
